How To Approach A Guy (Even If You’re Shy)

Not everyone is so bold.

Being shy shouldn’t hold you back from approaching a guy you like. Knowing how to flirt is difficult as it is, and if you’re shy it can feel even harder to build up the courage to tell the men you like how you really feel.

How many times have we been jealous of our friends who can walk up to a guy they’re interested in with the ease of picking out produce at the supermarket? For those gals, making the first move is a no-fuss situation. They are fearless in the face of bending traditional dating stereotypes. That’s great! 

But what about the rest of us who aren’t so bold? 

Not everyone has this superpower ability to know how to flirt. Some of us are shy introverts and when it comes to asking out — or even just approaching — men, we’d rather make an appointment for a root canal with our dentist.



It’s not that we lack basic flirtation skills, but we are much more comfortable when the guy makes the first move. 

The thing is, though, women can and should feel comfortable approaching men they are interested in. In fact, a lot of men these days actually love it when a girl takes the initiative. 

Being shy shouldn’t exclude you from the fun of dating. You never know who you might meet!

If you’re on the shy side and reading this, you’re probably thinking this is going to be another article about getting out of your comfort zone, blah, blah, blah. How many times have we heard that before? It’s not bad advice, but sometimes it’s much easier said than done.

That begs the question: What are some practical ways that a shy girl can approach a guy that won’t leave her in complete agony at the thought of doing it?


You don’t have to challenge yourself to walk up to the first hot guy you see and ask him to dinner; it’s more about challenging yourself in subtle ways. 

Check out these useful tips to help you approach a guy you are interested in, even if you are shy. 


1. Make eye contact.

Eye contact is one of the easiest and most subtle ways to let a man know that you are interested in him. Sometimes the thought of eye contact with a stranger seems nauseating, but if you think he’s cute, look up from that cell phone and simply challenge yourself to lock eyes with him. Don’t stare him down like you’re an FBI agent and he’s on the Most Wanted list. A short glance is all you need. This gives him a window to approach you. Shy girl win!


2. Add a smile.

Eye contact is great, but what happens when you actually lock eyes with someone?

Here’s what not do: quickly look down in utter fear. Yeah, you might be nervous but don’t act like it. When you do make eye contact with him, follow up with a nice, cool smile. If he’s smart, he’ll take the hint that you like him and act on it. 


3. Ask him an unrelated question.

One of the best ways to approach a guy without actually asking him out is to ask him an unrelated question or for some help with something. In no way should you ever dumb yourself down for someone, but maybe just use it as a way to simply initiate a conversation. If you legitimately need help with something, that’s perfect! Sometimes starting a conversation with a random comment might feel too obvious, which is why asking for some help is a great, subtle way to start talking to a new guy. 


4. Flirt, flirt, flirt!

No matter how shy or introverted you are, all women inherently know how to flirt and much of it happens subconsciously while we are talking a guy we really like. That eye contact, smile, or request for help may have gotten you to speak to each other, but that doesn’t mean you can be lazy, either. Allow yourself to flirt, even in this small window of opportunity. Nothing is going to go anywhere if you try these those methods and then shut down once you actually start talking to him!


5. Comment on something if the occasion calls. 

Let’s say you’re sitting on a subway next to a good looking guy that you are attracted to and all of sudden the lights flicker, a kid is out of control throwing a tantrum, or something random and odd happens. That’s a perfect opportunity to say a funny, observational comment that could lead to a conversation. You’re both aware of what’s going on (unless he’s glued to his phone and in that case, forget about him) and it’s a chance to start talking to him without being totally obvious. 


6. Don’t take things so personally.

This is very important. For shy girls, putting ourselves out there can feel so daunting that when we don’t see positive results, we immediately go back into hermit-mode. If you challenge yourself to try out some of these low key flirting methods and he doesn’t seem interested, that’s okay! He’s not the guy for you. You’ve most likely turned down other guys before, so don’t take it personally. He may not even be single!

Regardless, it’s important to not let others define your worth. Keep working your way up and who knows, maybe someday you’ll be a bold, flirting superhero. 

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Author: see naija

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