The people you surround yourself with are your friends, right? Identifying a toxic person can be difficult but you need to know how.
Friendship is sacred and shouldn’t be taken for granted, but not everyone you associate with is really your friend. Many people are in friendships that are toxic and don’t realize it until the last minute.
Toxic friendships can cause you more harm than good because you feel like you are the only one trying in the friendship. They make you feel like you’re being hurt every time you are with your toxic friend.
Getting out of a toxic friendship is easier said than done for many reasons. More often than not, you have known this person for a long time and you have been through thick and thin with this friend or group of friends, but it’s essential to rid yourself of toxic friends for your own sake.
If you don’t know the warning signs of a toxic friend friendship here are some clues. If you notice one or two of these behaviors being displayed by your friend or group of friends its time to figure out if this situation is healthy for you. I know its hard to just leave somebody, but you have to do what’s right for you.
1. They take more than they give.
If the people you hang around seem like vultures, there may be a problem. If your friend doesn’t have the common courtesy to give every once in a while, it’s a sign they aren’t really your friend.
If you notice you are remembering to give gifts for your friends’ birthdays and holidays but they leave you empty-handed, it’s time to reconsider the friendship. It’s a sign they are using you and not invested in your relationship at all. Giving is a gift because it is selfless and it means that you care about people other than yourself. If you keep noticing that your friends never give back, it’s time to seek out new friendships.
2. Their nose grows like Pinocchio.
Your friends are liars. Everybody has lied in one a way or another so we are all guilty of that but lying is not OK when it happens on a consistent basis and it becomes harmful to you. Friends are supposed to honest, even when it hurts. If your friend is lying to you, you won’t know what is true and what is an absolute lie. Knowing that your friend is a liar can cause friction and can cause you to drift apart and move on to friends that are honest and upfront with you. It’s best to move on.
3. They are always ghosting you.
Your friends don’t have to be by your side 24/7 but they are supposed to be there for important events in your life and when you need support. Life is rough and it’s understandable if your friends cannot attend all events in life. What’s not ok is your friends skipping out on everything thing you plan, even if it’s just a trip to the movies.
Not showing up to events that are important in your life or the most mundane events in your life shows you that your friends don’t care about you enough to do things with you or celebrate you. It also shows that your friends don’t value your time. Sometimes just showing up is what you need your friends to do, and if they can’t fulfill that for you then you need to have a conversation with your friends and set the record straight.
4. They never congratulate you on your accomplishments.
Your friends will go through highs and lows in their life and so will you. Being there when the going is good in life is always a pleasant experience. Knowing that your friends are there for you through the high points in your life is the best feeling in the world. If your friends don’t feel the need to congratulate you on the milestones you have achieved in life they aren’t true friends. A real friend will never feel the need to rain on your parade and if they do, it’s a sign your friend is toxic and needs to be forgotten.
5. They always want what is yours.
It’s normal to desire things that your friends have but it’s not OK to try to take everything away from your friend. If you feel like your friends try to take ownership of your accomplishments, material items, and loved ones, then Houston, you have a problem. There are certain boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed and taking over your life is one of them. If you feel like your friends are turning into the roommate from the movie Single White Female, you need to act fast and sooner rather than later. Your personal boundaries should never be crossed and you have to make that clear. If your friends don’t understand that, then its time to leave the friendship and call it quits for your sake and your sanity.