What he’s really trying to tell you.
Believe it or not, men are very simple creatures, as is their communication style. What they say is pretty close to what they mean.
What they say may not be crystal clear to us because women are more contextual and emotional in our thought processes. This is why it’s inevitable for women to try to find meaning in a man’s lightest utterance, especially when you’re trying to tell if a guy likes you.
A lot of men say things in a way to try to get their point across without getting our feelings hurt or cause drama or an emotional scene.
Here’s a little guide for some of the basic things that men say and what they actually mean.
1. “I’m not really looking for a relationship right now.”
Translation: “I’m being honest. I don’t want a relationship with you. I’m not making any promises about us having a future together, but we can still have sex.”
Hint: When he says he says he doesn’t want a relationship, he means it. This is not a challenge for you to try to change his mind about it. He has already decided he doesn’t want to have something serious with you.
2. “I’m okay.”
Translation: “I’m not really okay, but just let me be. I’d prefer to deal with this on my own. Please stop asking me what’s wrong, because the more times you ask that question, the less okay I actually feel.”
Hint: Men tend to work things internally. When he says he is okay, give him space and stop questioning him. If you don’t let him be, he will distance himself and pull away further.
3. “I really like you, but …”
Translation: “You’re smart, funny and attractive, I like you but I don’t see myself being with you. Can we have sex though?”
Hint: When a man really wants to be with someone, he will be with that person without hesitation. When he uses buts and excuses, he is trying to tell you to not get your hopes up.
4. Netflix and chill?
Translation: “Come over, let’s watch a movie or two then let’s get naked and have sex”.
5. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
Translation: “I’ve never thought about dating you, and I don’t like you enough to change my mind. I am not physically attracted to you in that way. But you are my friend and I don’t want to hurt your feelings”
Hint: Men are sexual creatures and if he doesn’t feel sexually attracted to you then don’t waste your time trying to escape the friend-zone.
6. “I’ve been busy.”
Translation: “I am not interested in you to make time to see you or make plans with you”.
Hint: We all are busy, but when we care about something we will always make time for what we want to do and for who we want to see.
7. “I am not sure where our relationship is going, I need time to think.”
Translation: “I am having doubts about you, I don’t think you are the right woman for me. I need time to decide how I am going to break up with you.”
8. “I don’t post who I date on social media.”
Translation: “Sure we have fun together and I like spending time with you but I am still testing the waters and fishing around, I don’t want other women to think I am taken and ruin my chances to be with other women.”
9. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”
Translation: “I don’t want you to get attached to me or have feelings for me when I don’t feel the way same about you”.
10. “Okay, I’m sorry.”
Translation: “I’m tired of arguing, okay you win, now will you shut the hell up?”
11. “I love you.”
Translation (after sex): “Wow, you just blew my mind, this was one of the best sex experiences I’ve ever had. I look forward to getting freaky with you again.”
Translation (any other time): “Wow, I really like you, you are an amazing woman and I don’t want to be with anyone else, I think you are the one.”
12. “We should hang out sometime.”
Translation: “I am attracted to you, I want to take you out on a date.”
13. “I don’t do relationships.”
Translation: “I want to keep my options open in case someone better comes along, but I want to keep having sex with you. But also don’t go anywhere because I like to have you around as my backup plan.”
14. “I don’t care either way.”
Translation: “Will you make up your mind already? I really don’t have an opinion about this anyway. Whatever you choose is really fine with me. And the quicker you decide the better.”
15. “Nice jeans.”
Translation: “Your butt looks amazing.”
16. “Nice shirt.”
Translation: “Nice pair you have there, miss.”
17. “You deserve better.”
Translation: “You are a great woman, but I can’t give you what you want and need, please move on”.
18. “I miss you.”
Translation (if you have been dating for awhile): “I miss spending time with you”.
Translation (if you are not in a serious relationship but have hooked up a few times): “I want to have sex with you again”.
19. “Did you finish?”
Translation: “I am not sure how well I performed during sex, I need you to give me some validation so it can boost my ego”
Hint: A man that is secure in his sexual performance and does the job right won’t be asking this, he will know if you had an orgasm or not.
20. “We will see.”
Translation: “You’re not really getting the hint and I am trying to find ways to avoid making plans with you so I don’t hurt your feelings with rejection.”
21. “Who is that guy?”
Translation: “I am definitely feeling jealous right now, who is this dude, do you like him? Have you slept with him? Do you want to sleep with him?
22. “I was kidding.”
Translation: “I actually meant what I said, I didn’t think you would overreact and act crazy on me. Can you just calm down? “
23. “It’s not you, it’s me.”
Translation: “It’s definitely you but I won’t tell you that because I don’t want you to go crazy on me or start crying”
24. “I want to be with you.”
Translation: “I want to be with you.”
25. “I have too much going on in my life right now.”
Translation: “Yes, I am trying to figure out my life right now, but you’re not a priority. And I don’t like you enough to arrange things to be with you”
Next time you find yourself scratching your head trying to figure what he means, use this as your online bible to translate the most common things that men say and what they likely really mean.
However, if you are constantly trying to figure out how a man feels about you, then deep down inside you know, this is not the right man for you.